Wow. Last week brought me to my knees with the whole social distancing quarantine thing. Now before I say anything, let me say that I recognize that I'm speaking from a place of privilege. Never before has the contrast between socioeconomic class been more obvious to us all. Some of us can afford to stay home, while so many of us cannot. I am already lucky that I work from home and that my husband can *mostly* work from home. I am already lucky that we chose to homeschool and we are already used to a lot of what we are doing. I know that. And for all of that, I am so grateful. But also angry, over the inequality. Still, despite our fortunate circumstances... last week almost broke me.
I am not okay.
I feel ashamed admitting this, knowing so many others have it so much harder than we do. But I feel like I need to tell you, because if even just one parent reading this feels better in knowing they are not alone, then it's worth it to say.
Last week, I had a day where, over the course of the day, I could feel my guts slowly tying themselves up in a knot. It seriously felt like I was growing an egg in my chest and stomach. Even though we are used to homeschooling, what we are doing now is so far from normal. And the anxiety was making me physically ill. The next day, even though we made some changes and the guys were having a really productive day, one little thing went wrong and I lost it. Not once, but twice. I made them cry. I cried. It was awful. Then, I told them the truth. I told them I'm having a hard time with the way things are right now. I told them it wasn't their fault. I asked them to forgive me and I hugged them both hard. I told them it was okay if they are feeling similarly out of sorts. They said they were.
The next day, the three of us headed out for the first time in over a month to Moss Rock Preserve for some sunshine, fresh air and a much-needed change of scenery. A mental health day off from "school-school" in favor of some learning through playtime for them and some nature therapy for me. We stayed for over five hours. I fell asleep in the sun with the sound of rushing water in my ears. They played, climbed rocks, explored, and experimented with rocks, water and floating logs. We all needed it so badly.
Then we went again on Sunday and brought Daddy with us. It felt so good to refill our emotional happiness tanks just a bit. We are still running low, but we are no longer drained.
This week, I will try to pay better attention to that knotty-egg, gut feeling. I am acutely aware of what that feels like now and what it will mean if I ignore it.
We are all in survival mode. There's only so much each of us can take. Reach out to your friends and make sure they are ok. Tell them if you aren't. If you aren't ok, take some time to fill your tank, even if that means letting go of work, school or whatever you are able for a short time. It must wait. Your family needs you!
Ironically, last night I found that one of my favorite podcasts (The Wild) has an episode about "forest therapy," and how the Japanese have a cultural tradition of what they call "forest bathing," to help people restore and relax. I can definitely relate! Maybe some of these practices will help you right now. Here's the podcast if you are curious. Look for the May 21st, 2019 episode, titled "Chris Sees a Forest Therapist."
 Nature therapy for my boys and I at Moss Rock Preserve, in Hoover |
Highlights in this Week’s Newsletter
- 7 ways to celebrate Mother's Day in the time of coronavirus
- A week's worth of music-themed activities
- Ways to use up pantry staples
- plus virtual events! Find the full event calendar HERE
Local Guides
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Macaroni Kid South Birmingham is a free weekly e-newsletter and website focused on fun family events and things to do with kids in the South Birmingham region. We gather together all kinds of local family events and activities each week, and add useful information about classes, family-focused businesses, book and product reviews, recipes, crafts, school and camp guides and more. We proudly serve families in downtown Birmingham, Mountain Brook, Homewood, Vestavia Hills, Hoover, Pelham, the Oak Mountain and 280 area, Helena and Alabaster.
