So we survived week two. Notice the lack of capitalization and exclamation in the previous sentence. Ask us if we're happy. Go on. I dare you. Yeah, that's right. First week was boringly normal for me, but this week? I must be a late bloomer. Fully-fledged "kill all the things," right here baby. I feel like I've had a headache for a week straight. Things better turn around soon, or someone (or something), is gonna die.
To catch you up... Hubs Mike and I are doing the Whole 30 for the month of January. I'm doing it to identify food sensitivities, following my GI doc's recommendation. Mike is doing it for solidarity's sake (best hubby ever). Here are the first two articles: Getting Ready, Week One Recap.
Last week, I detailed every day's meal and marveled at how normal I felt. I chuckled bemusedly, as Mike suffered, giving him tips on how to do it "right," and avoiding his death stares and gnashing teeth. This week, I feel his pain. This week, I'm not going to detail every meal. Partly because it's just more of the same, and who wants to read all that? And partly because I'm annoyed with you. Unless you're doing this too... right now... and feeling the same way. Then you're cool (#miserylovescompany). Otherwise, I'm annoyed.
Taco burger with portobello "bun," roasted potatoes and red pepper mayo to dip. So colorful! At least our meals are pretty. Everything else? Oogly.
Days 8 and 9 - "Oh No, My Pants are Tighter"
Meh. I kinda felt this way on day 7, I guess. But coulda been one of those "well the calendar says..." kind of things. Day 9 though? Our pants weren't feeling tighter, because we were both letting it all OUT (ifyouknowwhutimeanvern). Please excuse yourselves from the room pets and children. The air is not breathable up in here. Headachey too.
Days 10 and 11 - "The Hardest Days"
My body is definitely behind schedule, or mixed up or something, according to the Whole30 expectations calendar. I hit "I just want to nap all day," on Day 10. But before waking up, and not wanting to drag myself out of bed, I had a crazy, vivid dream (which is supposed to happen on days 12-14). I dreamt I found an open bag of chocolate chip cookies on the ground, you know, like normal. I pick them up, and just absent-mindedly started eating them. Until I realized what I was doing, and woke up in a panic! And the panic was all about having to start Whole30 all over, and nothing to do with the fact that I was munching on someone's TRASH. Eww. Still headachey. Mike feels like doo doo too, but he's coming down with a cold.
Days 12 - 14 - "I Dream of Junk Food"
Right on schedule, Mike wakes up on Day 13 and tells me, "last night I dreamt I ate a huge pile of nachos and drank a beer." He did not wake up in a panic. He looks like he wants to go back to sleep and visit the nachos again. We are both still feeling not so great. But I really don't think it's the Whole30, to be honest. Mike is still genuinely sick, and this is my normal, for this time of the month anyway, capiche?
Roasted pork tenderloin, root veggies and red peppers with dairy-free pesto. Pesto was tasty, but kinda slimy without the parmesan. I love beets! Mike doesn't.
Takeaways So Far
For real. This is hard. I hate planning, shopping and cooking anyway, so this is really not fun for me. According to my Whole30 research, these are the days people usually quit. The novelty has worn off. Friends stop watching your Instagram feed. Certainly, all we can think about right now is which food group we miss the most. Which one will we add back on Day 31? If it weren't for the fact that I promised you guys I'd write about this for four weeks in a row AND the fact that Mike is suffering along with me, I'd seriously consider quitting. So I guess that whole accountability thing is important. If you ever attempt this, definitely find someone to do it with, so you can share the suck. I am NOT going to quit.
Also, eggs. You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em. I'm so tired of eggs, I stayed up last night and made a chorizo-potato-pepper hash to reheat this morning. Then what did I do? I put a fried egg on top of it. And I'll admit.... it was good. But dang. So. Tired. Of. Eggs. Breakfast is definitely the hardest part of this whole Whole30. I just want to eat something cold. With milk on it. I did make a smoothie one day (even though the Whole30 people would rather we didn't), because eggs. Now I know why cereal was invented.
Confessions
We both cheated this week. Not with food. No. No way I'm starting over, AF. But we did do a little Whole30 no-no. We both stepped on the scale. I did it first, then confessed to Mike. I didn't think it was fair to keep that a secret, plus I was dying to know how it was going for him and I knew he'd follow suit. We're eating an awful lot of sweet potatoes, which means quite a few carbs. After having so much success with a low carb diet, I just couldn't stand not knowing if the potatoes were going to derail the weight loss benefit of doing a Whole30. So I'm weak. Oh well, nobody's perfect. The good news is that for me the needle is headed in the right direction, and for Mike it is headed in the right direction FAST! He's lost FIFTEEN pounds. Now keep in mind that when you go from super SAD (standard American diet) to one like this, a lot of that loss is water weight. The same thing happened to me the first time I went lower carb, to the point that I was getting leg cramps from dehydration and electrolyte imbalance. This time I was more prepared.
How I feel this week. My mom, who I suspect is following this journey because she "doesn't even want to talk about [my] diet," as she audibly shakes her head over the phone, is not going to like this week's article. It's okay mom. We're fine. Nobody is really going to die (or be killed). This is a good thing... really.
Cry babies. That's us. Next week will be better, right?
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